Deaf To All Sound
by brionyjae
Summary: "I know… it must be hard for you to lose such a good friend." But Tonks didn't get it. Remus hadn't just lost his friend, he had lost his comfort and main reason to live. RLSB Slash!


**Disclaimer: **I swear, I don't own Harry Potter and co. Or else the books would be full of slash. :-)

**Warning: **Yes, this one-shot contains slash!

**A/N: **I know, I should be writing 'Not a Malfoy Anymore'. But I just had to write this little one-shot. It came to me while reading 'The Order of the Phoenix', obviously the end of it. :-) I've always liked how J.K described Remus' actions, so yeah, I decided to write this. I really hope you guys like it, and I'd be very happy if you review!

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_Deaf to all Sound_

There was only really one point where Remus was close to dying down at the Department of Mysteries that night.

It felt as if all the life had been thrown out of him by one sudden, nasty blow. It wasn't while he was dueling anyone, no; none of the curses fired at Remus were at all as close to killing him as this was.

Dumbledore just arrived on the scene, and Remus felt a wave of relief crash over him. No one would be hurt while Dumbledore was there. The death eaters noticed his presence too. They all stopped throwing spells at the Order – except one.

Bellatrix Lestrange and Sirius were still dueling, not knowing that Dumbledore had arrived.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius laughed, easily dodging Bellatrix's spell.

It was in that moment that Remus knew what Bellatrix was going to do. Her face was contorted with a rage he had never known in anyone before. Time seemed to slow as Remus saw a jet of green light issue from her wand. It sped towards Sirius, and so achingly slow, hit him in the middle of his chest.

Remus watched in horror as Sirius' eyes widened in shock and surprise, although laughter was still dancing across his face.

Sirius' body dropped backwards, and fell into the veil which fluttered in a nonexistent breeze. Remus was deaf to all sound, and he couldn't see due to a blurring of his vision. He could feel though.

He could feel Sirius' warm breath on his cheek. He could feel his soft hands running over Remus' bare chest. Remus could even feel Sirius's tender kisses making a pathway down his neck.

Bellatrix's victorious scream pulled Remus back into reality. She knew that Sirius was gone, lost to the archway.

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!" That was Harry yelling. Remus half turned, and saw Harry running towards the arch. A jolt of panic shot through his stomach, and Remus quickly grabbed Harry around the chest. He could not go through that arch.

"There's nothing you can do Harry –" Remus said, not knowing how his voice could sound so steady.

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Remus' eyes were stinging.

"– it's too late Harry."

"We can still reach him –" Harry was struggling so hard, Remus nearly had to let go. He had no strength for this. And yet, he feared to think what Harry would do if he let him go, so he held fast.

Remus' next words were the hardest words he had ever had to say in his entire life. Saying it would make it true.

"There's nothing you can do Harry… nothing… he's gone."

There was a pause, in which Harry's struggling froze for a second.

"He hasn't gone!" Harry bellowed. His effort to free himself returned twice as strong as before, and Remus tried to drag him further away from the archway. Harry was still yelling Sirius' name, and Remus felt like yelling back at him 'He's not coming back!'

However, Remus had to stay strong and calm.

"He can't come back, Harry," his voice breaking slightly. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't! "He can't come back, because he's d –"

"HE – IS – NOT – DEAD!" Harry roared. Remus started to hate that James was so stubborn, and had passed on the trait to Harry.

With a great tug, Remus pulled Harry over to where Neville was. Neville said something to Harry, but Remus wasn't listening. He stared at the archway in disbelief. A feeling of grief hit him all of a sudden – Sirius would never be coming back. He would never hold Remus in his arms again.

"Here," Remus said quietly to Neville, more to distract himself from thinking about Sirius. "_Finite._ Let's – let's find the others. Where are they all, Neville?"

Remus turned away from the archway. He tried to focus on Neville's answer, but images of Sirius kept fighting their way into his mind. Suddenly there was a loud bang, and Bellatrix sprinted up the steps beside them. Harry narrowed his eyes in rage, and before Remus could do anything, he had ripped his arm out of Remus' slackened grip and ran after Bellatrix.

"Harry – no!" Feeling helpless, Remus watched as Harry tore after Bellatrix, and Dumbledore swiftly following them both.

Remus looked around at the rest of the Order. Mad-Eye was trying to revive Tonks, and the rest were healing injuries. He turned to Neville, and Neville told Remus to follow him.

Neville led Remus to the others, where Ron was being attacked by a brain, Hermione was unconscious, and Luna and Ginny were lying on the floor.

"Professor Lupin," Ginny said at once, and attempted to stand up. "Where did Harry go? He was running after a woman, Lestrange…"

"Shh, just… I need to get you all back with the Order."

Remus pointed his wand at the brain and it fell to the floor at once. He then said a counter charm, and Ron became himself again. He healed Luna and Ginny the best he could, leaving the most complicated charms for Madam Pomfrey. After trying to revive Hermione, but failing, Remus levitated her and beckoned the others to follow him.

They arrived in the room with the archway in it, and Remus sat down heavily on one of the stone steps.

"Professor… where's Harry? And why is everyone so quiet?" Ginny asked him, sounding anxious.

"Harry went after Bellatrix," Remus answered. "He's with Dumbledore… he'll be safe."

Remus couldn't bring himself to answer her other question, so she turned to Tonks, who had been revived by Mad-Eye. Indeed, the members of the Order were standing or sitting quietly, talking in voices not above a whisper.

Drawing a shaky breath, Remus bit his cheek to stop his tears. It would not do to cry in front of everyone, especially the teenagers.

Remus didn't know how or when Dumbledore returned, but when he did, he said that Voldemort had escaped, and Harry was already back at Hogwarts. He then set up a portkey for the rest of the students.

When they had left, Dumbledore turned to address the Order.

"There will be no need for you to stay," he said. "Fudge is here with Ministry officials. You may leave."

Remus didn't hesitate. He stood up and apparated to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He had been going to stay there the night anyway, but now that he was there, he wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else.

Striding quickly, Remus entered the bedroom with his things in it, and sat down on his bed. That was when he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Remus broke down, and sobbed, stricken with grief, into his hands. He heard the door open, and Tonks sat down next to him, but he couldn't stop the tears now. She put her arm around his shoulders, and whispered words of comfort into his ear.

"I know… it must be hard for you to lose such a good friend."

But Tonks didn't get it. Remus hadn't just lost his friend; he had lost his comfort and main reason to live.

Tonks continued to talk, but Remus couldn't hear her.

Everyone had said that he would be the first to go. That James, Sirius and Peter would outlive him by many years.

And yet, here he was. James and now Sirius were both dead. Peter was as good as dead, being with Voldemort. Remus was the last Marauder left.

Tonks left after a bit – Remus didn't how long she had been sitting with him. Remus was in a state of grief and disbelief.

Yes, there was only really one point where Remus was close to dying down at the Department of Mysteries that night.

It wasn't while he was dueling anyone. No.

Sirius getting murdered by Bellatrix nearly killed Remus. Sirius, the man Remus was in love with, and had been since their teenage years, had been taken away from him for good.

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Poor, poor Remus, I know... :-( Please review and tell me what you thought of it though… :-) See you when I next post a story!


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